School starts next week. I’ve procrastinated over the entire summer. I had planned at the beginning of summer to have all the things ready for the kids so that we wouldn’t be scrambling at the last week (lol) but that never really works when you’re neurodivergent. So far we have back to school clothes ready. However we still need certain school supplies. It feels like the summer passed in a blink of an eye. But also it feels like it took forever, mainly because the kids have been driving me absolutely bonkers. So, while I am rather stressed, I can at least look forward to getting a bit of peace and quiet during school hours.

So here I sit, at my computer. With a cup of coffee and a brain full of mush from the constant badgering from the offspring over the summer. Trying to gather my thoughts, but all I can muster is ongoing ringing and echoes of “mom!! Moooooom!!! Mom!!!” Oh, to have a moment to myself. T’would be lovely.

I’m coming to the realization that I must now devise a plan for myself. A winter plan, if you will. Id like to find something to occupy my time while the munchkins are at their schools. I’ve started painting, and while I do enjoy it, I do not find it all that fulfilling. Perhaps if I keep it going, over time it might?

As I grumble and groan over my lack of carrying out the oh so many plans I had for this summer, I have the audacity to try to “makes plans” for the winter. Its quite silly. I wanted to get so much done this summer, I had the time. Then the executive functioning issues reared their ugly heads. You sit there, looking at the task in front of you, and you think Hmm I need to do that and your brain/body combo goes nope. And that’s that until you look at the task again, rinse and repeat. And that’s basically how my summer went.

I wanted to redo the Destructo Beast’s bedroom. They are ten now and want something less girly and more grownup. I think the only way to get it done is to take one thing at a time. One very small thing at a time, over time. But knowing myself, one day I will over do it and shove all the tasks into one giant task and send myself into a rather unfortunate and painful fibro flare. Because this is how we do it.

It’s not like I never get things done, the most essential things do get done, eventually. It’s just usually at the very last minute, with lots of tears and stress. Every time I bring this up to an allistic, they try to be helpful and suggest things like making a list and Im like yea Ive tried everything you can think of. This is why its called a disability. Even with available accommodations, I struggle. The good thing is that I have learned to stop beating myself up over it. So that’s something, at least.

The kids are pretty much ready for the school year. At the very least, the essentials. Any extra stuff they may need or want we take care of as we go. So I don’t have to really stress that much, but I will. Im an anxious person.