This past month has been difficult. Not only health wise but mental health wise. Due to the stresses of waiting for results, my anxiety has been skyrocketing, even though my heart meds totally calm me compared to how my anxiety used to be. And my depression has reached some rather really low points as well. While in those vast abysses Ive learned to just sort of ride the wave, so to speak, until I came out of the other side and kept going. But of course, I wouldn’t recommend another doing such a thing without going to a mental health professional and discussing what their options are. So don’t take what I say as an example to follow. I do have a shrink I discuss things with, and while Im not on meds at the moment, it might be possible that I need them in the future.
The day after my last post, I had an appointment with the haematologist, to discuss my latest blood test results. He seemed nice enough. So I sat down, anxiety ridden, and he says my platelet count has dropped to the line of being a “high normal”. It all seemed rather anti climactic, really. I was expecting to hear that I had a baby alien living in my chest and only had moments to live, or something equally dramatic and scary. But apparently, whatever had my platelet count up when I had to stay in the hospital, was either correcting itself (probably some kind of an infection) or had run its course… they still couldn’t tell me what it was. But the relief was rather nice, and made me forget all about the questions I had lined up for that appointment. So I left feeling rather disappointed. Not disappointed in the not dying part, but disappointed in the fact that I still don’t have any real answers as to what caused that sudden influx of platelets along with my very scary heart thing. And not to mention, the abdomen pain, I still have it. But a CT scan shows nothing wrong. So what the hell? The doc said its most like IBS (irritable bowel syndrome). Which, has a tendency to pop up in fibro patients, so that one wasn’t really a surprise. But again, disappointing. It would have been nice to pin point something, treat it, and possibly feel better afterwards. No such luck, not at this time. I go back in two months for another blood test. So, more waiting. Fan-Fucking-Tastic.
After that visit, and a few days of overthinking the very boring results, I decided to make an appointment with a gynaecologist, for the regular checkup. This is a doc Ive always been too anxious to make an appointment with. But I managed to make the appointment. I have an IUD that is way past due for replacement. And I can’t help but wonder if perchance, the issues Ive been having, are they due to that? Only one way to find out. I don’t have any super serious pains in my pelvic area or anything, but PMS is a major bitch. And on an IUD, periods should be basically non existent. Which they were for a long time, but PMS reared its ugly head a while back (longer than Im willing to admit) and that is usually a sign its not working anymore. So that unidentified infection may be rather easily identified, perhaps? But hey, Ill know in a little over a week. I also made an appointment with my regular doc, and can’t remember why. I know I had a reason in my head as I made the appointment but it just *woosh* left my mind as soon as the appointment was made. Im sure it will come to me before I get there.
So now that all the scary stuff is over with, for now, I can get back to the regular routine of the kids going to school, getting the DB back in speech therapy, and finding work for myself. What I *really* want to do is find my way back to University. Perhaps Ill look into it later. First things first, gotta get my shit together and take care of these kids.
Anyhoo, thats all for now. Thanks for reading.